A Hole in My Heart

We lost a dear father, husband, grandfather, brother, uncle, and friend today when my dad passed away. It is still so hard for me to comprehend how this happened. It has only been 2 1/2 weeks since Dad was diagnosed with cancer. He was only 66 years old. Visiting with him over the past few weeks I know that the speed at which things progressed truly was a blessing, but at the same time I can't help but feel like he was taken away from us way too soon. I love my dad very much, and his passing has a left a hole in my heart that will be hard to fill.

Dad was a patient and quiet man who took the cards that he was dealt and played them the best he could, never complaining about the bad hands nor bragging about the good ones. Even over the past couple weeks Dad did his best to stay strong and fight off the cancer, and he never became angry about what was happening. As Dad said, "It is what it is."

While quiet, Dad also had a truly unique sense of humor. Out of the blue he could come up with some joke or wise guy remark that just made you smile and laugh and say "D-a-d!" Even over the past couple of weeks Dad continued to make us laugh during this difficult time. He was also a very polite and considerate man. All of these qualities made him very likeable, and he made many great friends over the years. He even continued to harass the nurses (in a nice way) and develop friendly relationships with his caregivers while in the hospital and at the care center.

Dad was a very hard worker, and I thank him for helping to shape my work ethic. He was dedicated to his work no matter what the job was and worked long, hard hours over many years, retiring only about 10 months ago. Dad was also very detail oriented with his work and everything for that matter. Another trait I get from him. :)

Working such long hours meant that Dad missed some family meals, soccer games, and such over the years. But I always knew that family was very important to him and he was working hard for our family. In more recent years I always knew that Dad enjoyed visiting with my family and looked forward to chatting with me and the girls whenever I called. We may not talk for too long, but he always enjoyed hearing from his "girlies." I enjoyed this special time with Dad as well, and I am so very happy that I could share my family with him. I know that he was very proud of my family.

Dad always enjoyed cars, especially street rods. Many of my childhood memories with him are car related. Of course I remember going to numerous car shows with him. Seems like the majority of our family trips were planned around a car show, but it was fun. I also have vivid memories helping Dad out in the garage ... rolling around on the mechanic's dolly thing (don't know the exact name of it), helping to drill holes on the drill press, and moving that body and frame around the garage numerous times. It saddens me so much to think of all the dreams Dad had for retirement in his garage. One thing I have learned out of this experience is to live your dreams now because you never know what God has planned for you later on.

Over the past 6 years it made me so happy to see such a loving relationship develop between my dad and my children. It made me smile inside and out whenever he read them a book, asked them for a hug, tried to pull their leg, or gave them (and me!) that special wink that only he could give. They love their grandpa very much and were very sad to hear that he passed away. I'm sure that they will have fond memories of him. As will I.

Thank you, Dad, for being such a wonderful father and grandfather. I love you very much and will miss you terribly. I know that you are happy in Heaven now though. I sure hope God lets you drive street rods around up there and that the angels are prepared to be harassed by you. :)


I don't know why, but this has always been one of my favorite pictures with Dad.


At a 50's themed Father-Daughter dance for Girl Scouts in 1987


I love the cute smile on Dad's face in this one. (March 14, 1998)


Playing Pretty Pretty Princess with Katie, Abby, and Sarah about 2 months ago when he came to visit for Katie's 4th birthday